Chris Lesner
Stephanie welcome. I'm so glad that you're here

Stephanie
I'm so glad to be here, Chris. Nice to see you, my friend. Always good to see you. So thank you for having me.

Chris Lesner
So good to see you. I've been talking to people about this episode particularly and how I'm super, super, super excited for our audience to get to know you and hear your story.

Stephanie
Thank you. Thank you so much.

Chris Lesner
So you started really at entry level and now if people look at you, they probably think you had the easiest ride ever because of how successful you've been. And how does somebody get that successful not realizing the work you've put in? Can you share some of your journey? Because it's amazing how much work you've put in over the years.

Stephanie
Hmm
Yes.

Stephanie
Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm a 40 year old over coming a 40 year overnight success, right? So basically how I first started is I always like to give kudos where we're really most of the credit deserves, which is really our military. So my dad was a master sergeant in the U .S. Air Force. So I was born a military brat. And why that's important is because I grew up.
on active Air Force bases. So I was that kid that moved every two years of my life. So early on, I knew I wanted to be in aviation because I was hearing planes take off and land literally every day of my life since I was born. And so I had a fascination with aviation. Fast forward though, I didn't know what I could do in aviation. So though I knew I wanted to do it, I didn't know what I could do because way back then, honestly, Chris,
If you ever saw people as aviators, they were either a man and they were a pilot, or they were a woman and they were a flight attendant. But none of those, you know, pictures that I would see in TV or film or magazines depicting aviators, none of them ever looked like me. And so though I knew I wanted to be in aviation, the truth is I didn't know what I could do in aviation. So the very first job that I had in aviation was parking planes and loading luggage at the Boston Logan Airport. And if you know anything about aviation,
That is the entry level point. And I loved that job. I was very good at the job. I loved the job. But think about that, Chris. That was 40 years ago, right? So 40 years ago, you hardly ever saw women working out on the ramp at the airport. But for me, I was surrounded by men my whole life. I grew up around soldiers, right? I'm a child of a soldier. So I was quite comfortable down there, parking planes, shoving in luggage, all that stuff. Absolutely loved it.
One day I went upstairs to work at the ticket counter because back then we were cross -trained. And so I went upstairs to just work for overtime because I was broke and I had no money to pay my bills. And so I went upstairs like, okay, I'll take overtime. I'll go up here and do customer service. And so I would do that every day. So down on the ramp during the day shift, up the customer service, during the night shift. And one of my VPs of sales, his name was Jim, he would always fly in and out of the airport. So one day he saw me working the ticket counter and he came over to me and he's like, Steph,

Stephanie
Every time I come through this airport, I see you smiling, working with the customers, serving them. I think we have you in the wrong spot. He goes, I think you should be in sales. And so, Chris, I knew nothing about sales. Like I had never sold a thing. I knew nothing about sales. And I was like, okay, you know, I liked Jim and I trusted Jim. And so fast forward, I ended up selling for the major airlines for many, many years. Did that, loved it. And then I got recruited from the airlines into the private jet industry.
And that was something completely new to me because I, you know, I grew up a military child, right? So I wasn't around wealth and, you know, extra money and all that stuff. I had no idea about private jets. The only private jets I was familiar with was fighter jets. Okay. I knew nothing about life, the other luxurious stuff, but ended up getting into private aviation. And that's really where I've spent a bulk of my career and have absolutely loved every second of it. So I...
pretty much was overseeing sales teams that either sold private jets or sold fractional shares, which is really like a time share for jets, or sold jet cards or time in private jets. Then I ended up getting a job as the president of a private jet company, and that allowed me to make history where I became the first black person in US history to ever run and lead a major private aviation company. So was super proud of myself for that. And then I ended up getting recruited into
Wills Up, so I am the former chief growth officer for Wills Up. They created the position for me. Absolutely loved working there and was part of the team that helped take Wills Up public, which was certainly just amazing because we were the first private jet company to go public. so that was really a lot of fun. And now, you know, I've really just moved out of aviation. I still am on some boards so I can use my voice to still have an impact on the industry because we still
working really hard to get much better when it comes to recruiting top talent and getting more women in the table, getting more people of color in aviation, et cetera. So I still use my voice that way. But now really what I do is I'm 100 % on the speaking circuit. And I also just launched a book, as you know, which just hit number one. Yeah. So very excited. And so I speak for a living and I'm so blessed to be able to be on many stages and talk about either leadership or sales or female power.

Stephanie
So that's really what I do. And then as far as a personal life is concerned, I am married to the same man. His name is Sam for 35 years. My husband is Japanese and that's why I'm the black lady with the Asian last name. And then we have one daughter who's, she's incredible. And I think you've met her because she travels with me whenever I go and speak. So that's a little bit about how I got here. It's been a long, lovely journey and I would not have changed not one single second.

Chris Lesner
Wow, that's an amazing story. And one thing I have to say that might not hit on immediate leadership principles, but seeing your daughter travel with you and meeting her, it's just amazing. It's so cool, the stuff that you bring her into, especially from such a young age.

Stephanie
Thank you.

Stephanie
Thank you, thank you. Yeah, yeah, and you know what's really great is to your point, you know, one of the things that I think is important for leadership, especially these days, is to really, we can learn from the younger generation. So my daughter's 33 years old, and really one of the reasons why she travels with me is because she can shoot all the behind the scenes footage, she can.
grab all the stuff that's used for social media. And so as my social team is doing, you know, and posting and content creation and all that. So they're all speaking the same language. I have no idea what they're all talking about, right? They're like, we're gonna do an Instagram live, you know, go. And I'm like, okay, what does that mean? What am I doing? So the reason why I have her with me, besides the fact that I just love having her with me.
is it's great to have somebody who's a different generation with you because, you know, she knows things that I don't know and that is really helpful as we continue to, you know, continue to try to spread the word and help as many people as we possibly can in this thing called leadership. So.

Chris Lesner (6:57.005)
Wow. Well, I guess I've heard you share on a lot of topics. I've heard you talk about trust, and I've taken pages of notes worth of stuff on trust. I've heard you talk about sales. I've taken pages of notes on sales from you. I've heard you talk about leadership. And now you've got this book that talks about leading people that don't look like you. And that, what you just shared about you and your daughter even leans into some of what you talk about in the book. But share with our audience a little bit about your book.

Stephanie
You

Stephanie
Yes.
Yes.

Stephanie
Yeah, happy to. Yeah, thank you for that. So the name of the book is called Ally Leadership, How to Lead People Who Are Not Like You. And Ally, you the reason why I didn't call the book Allyship is because Ally, at least for me, is an acronym. And so the acronym stands for Ask, Listen, Learn, and then You Take Action. So Ask, Listen, Learn, You Take Action.

Chris Lesner
that I'm just behind it.

Stephanie
Leadership, Ally leadership. How to Leave People Not Like You is, love the title because it says it all, right? So if you think about what leaders are going through these days, and I have a heart for leaders because it's a tough job. No matter where you are on the pendulum, if you're seasoned leader, you're in the C -suite or you're in a board, or you're a new and aspiring leader, regardless of what level you're at or where you're at, or even if you have aspirations to be a leader, leadership can be hard.
And so I wrote the book as a, almost as a love letter to leaders and aspiring leaders to say, listen, I've gone through the journey as well, reached the highest level, made some mistakes, had some victories, you know, all kinds of stuff. And so here's what I've done in hopes that it can help people as well. But the reason, the real reason why I wrote the book is if you just look at the landscape in corporate America right now, we've got five generations working, soon to be six. That's unheard of.
So if you just think about, know, I made a comment saying my daughter's 32, she's a millennial, right? But if you think of Zoomers versus Boomers, and they're all in the workplace at the same time, it's hard to lead someone who's maybe 16 or 30 versus 70, right? They all have different perspectives, different ideas, different expectations. So that can be a bit challenging for leaders. So that's the first challenge. We've got five, almost six generations working. That's crazy. The second thing is that
women are now the majority of the world's population, right? So if you look at the globe, we're almost 51%. That has happened and that changes the dynamics as well in the workplace. Women lead differently, we see things differently, we communicate differently. And then the third piece is when you look at, again, the globe, but especially in the United States.
you have all of the ethnic diversity demographics shifting and changing. And so what that means is that you've got the ethnic groups, so we'll say the Black, Asian and Hispanic groups, growing, the non -ethnic groups continuing to shrink. And so what that really means is that everything's changing as well. Again, how people see things based on their upbringing, their life experience, et cetera. So that's not even including people with different neurodiversities or people with different...

Stephanie
abilities, physical abilities, or people from the LGBTQ plus community. There is a lot of change. And so as leaders, we have to come to grips with, we are going to be leading people who are not like us. So how do you do it successfully? How do you make sure that you've created an environment where everybody feels like their true talents can be pulled out? Because that's the job of the leader, right? Pull out their gifts and their talents and everybody can be in the right place at the right time.
doing the right thing so that we as a company or we as an organization or we as a team can all win, right? It's not about some people win and some people lose. It's like, no, we all have to win in this game. And so that's really why I wrote the book. So I tell a lot of stories on things that I did successfully. And I tell a lot of stories on things that I absolutely did not do successfully. It was horrible, right? And I made some big mistakes. But I use my experience because
Most of the conversation, Chris, so far in corporate America, when we think about leading people who are not like us, most of the conversation has been towards white men. And I understand why that is, right? Because for the most part, when you look at corporate America, white men still control about 87 % of the leadership positions in corporate America. So I understand why the conversation is geared towards them and really helping them understand how to lead women and people of color.
But in my book, I actually take it a different direction than that. So yes, that's part of the book, but it's a small part of the book because I am a black woman who comes from a white male dominated industry. So every team I've ever had to lead or I've inherited were always people that were not like me. They were primarily white men. So I'm coming at it from a different perspective of how I've been able to lead people that weren't like me. And yet we still hit the highest level and had a lot of fun along the
And so I really look at the book as an opportunity for if you are a leader, period, it doesn't matter whether you're a black, white, male, female, old, young, gay, straight, it doesn't matter, right? We're all in this together. And so how do you use and tap into your leadership capabilities so that you can pull out the best in those people that you have influence over and that you're responsible for growing? And that's really why I wrote the book. So it's a lot of fun. I'm really pleased with that.

Stephanie
with the response that we're getting from the book. And I had a lot of beta readers read the book and I had a big diversity of beta readers read it. And it was really interesting because a lot of my beta readers who were white male executives said to me, Steph, do not make this just a book, you're onto something, make this a movement. And so Ally Leadership is truly a movement in the making where all of us as leaders or aspiring leaders.
will have the tools necessary to learn how do we lead today's modern workforce, which is primarily people made up of different experiences that are not like yours. Yeah.

Chris Lesner
Wow, there's so much there to unpack. And first of all, congrats. That's so exciting. And congrats for all of us listening that we get to listen to it and that we get to read it. When I think through this, we talk a lot about servant leadership on the podcast. How does servant leadership play into this ally leadership concept?

Stephanie
Thank you. Yes.

Stephanie
you

Stephanie
Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's a really good one because I'll even take it one step further, right? Which is how is ally leadership different than traditional leadership? And, you know, the way that I look at it is traditional leadership is all about tactics and techniques. You you do this, you do this, you do this, you do this. Ally leadership or even servant leadership is about the intangibles, right? So let me get really specific. Traditional leadership will say, listen, this person is late all the time.
So I'm gonna write them up, right? And when you look at ally leadership or servant leadership, you know, we look at intangibles, it's like, okay, well, this person is late all the time. I wonder why they're late all the time. What's going on in their lives that's causing them not to be able to get here on time? Let me have a conversation with them so I can ask, I can listen, I can learn. And maybe there's some areas that I can take action to help them be set up to win. So you're trying to figure out all the reasons why before,
you just revert to, me write them up, right? And that's the difference. And so when I think about leadership, personally for me, I think leadership is a huge blessing. It's also a huge responsibility. And so I've always looked at leadership as one day I'm gonna be held accountable for what did I do with the people that God put in my jurisdiction to influence. And so I wanna be responsible with it. So using that as kind of a backdrop and to tell you, give you a little insight as to how I've always led teams.
I always see that whenever I've led, let's say, you know, again, I've led mostly men, right? Until I could diversify the team. Um, it was primarily men and, know, and, um, I always looked at them in a, very specific way. They were not just my employee. That was kind of the least of the focus. What they were to me, let's say I was leading you, Chris, you're somebody's husband. You're somebody's father. You're somebody's son. You're somebody's best friend.
You're somebody's brother, right? You are a lot of people. And so when I lead you, I can't just look at you as you're my employee. I have to look at you in your totality. Because I know that if you and I, I'm leading you and let's say, you know, I'm having a bad day and I just kind of snap and take it out on you, for an example, right? Which a lot of bosses do that. Then what that does is now there's a ripple effect.

Stephanie
So now you go home, Chris the husband, Chris the father, Chris the best friend, you go home, you don't really, a little short with your wife, because I've made you had a bad day, right? You don't really wanna play with the kids. You ignore the dog, right? So all of the things, because of how I interacted with you, will now impact how you, Chris the person, go home and do whatever it is that you need to do. So leadership for me has always been beyond just
that's my employee, it's always been, no, that's a person that I actually am, you know, blessed and held responsible to be able to bring out their God given talents and to help them be set up to win. And so I've got to use that responsibility mindfully. And so that's how I've always looked at leadership. I, to me, that's the difference between an ally leader and I'm going to put servant leader with that ally leadership as well versus a traditional leader.
And that's really why the movement is important because leaders have a lot on their plate, but it's not getting any easier. The world is getting more complex. And so what we need to do is to make sure that leaders are trained and developed to know how to handle the complexity. And a lot of times people who are currently in leadership position, they're so busy running around because there's so much going on in the world that they don't really have time to lead people. And yet then what happens is we keep producing
leaders who are not really leaders, they're more like bosses and managers who are, you know, hanging on by a thread. And so the whole, this whole vicious cycle continues. It doesn't stop. So what I'm trying to do is to actually stop the insanity and to say, okay, let's actually groom and develop people so that they truly understand what it means to be a real leader. And that means I have to lead the whole person. And because think of it, Chris, a lot of times you hear leaders say this all the time. We want you to bring your whole self to work. Do you?
Because if you can't handle their whole self, then don't tell them to bring their whole self to work, right? That's a lie. And so I am, you know, of the school and of the belief that I'm doing my part to say, no, I actually do want you to bring your whole self to work, but I'm going to make sure that I understand.

Stephanie
that there's many layers to you, Chris the employee, Chris the father, Chris the dad. And so if Chris is having a bad day or maybe Chris is always late, let me understand why so I can best serve Chris, which ultimately best helps the company and the company's bottom line as well. So I know that was a really long answer, but that's really where my heart is at with this whole.

Chris Lesner
Wow, that is so good. As you think through this and as you're talking, I'm kind of processing in my mind. Ally leadership, it's so welcoming. I don't know all the circles you run in, but I'm sure you hear opinions about a lot of DEI stuff going on. And some people are very pro. Some people all of sudden are against it. And it's like this ally leadership concept brings everyone together. How do

Stephanie
Thank you.

Stephanie
Yeah.

Chris Lesner
How do you play in that space, I guess, where you have people of all kinds of opinions about DEI topics? Because I know you talk a lot about that.

Stephanie
Yeah, so you know what? It's funny because for this is such a great question, Chris, I love it for so many reasons. One is you're right, DEI, people are either forward or against it. And I actually address it a little bit in the book. But one of the things that I was very intentional about doing was to make sure that I didn't make this a DEI book and because it can be a trigger for people, you know, good or bad. But but what I wanted everyone to realize, and this is why I didn't allow it to be just a book towards like, you know, white men.
teaching them how to lead women or people of color. And I really use, I start off the whole book with my experience of like, you know, this, this team that I inherited and I had my, I'll tell you, I'll give you a little glimpse into it. So my CEO tells me, Hey Steph, I want you to come and take over this team. And I'm like,
I don't want to take over the team, right? I have another team, the team's going great. I've worked, you know, that team and I are like, we're killing it on all cycles. And I knew if I went to take over this other team, it was dysfunctional, it wasn't working right. It was like, I don't need all these headaches, right? But my boss didn't give me much of an option. So I came to take over this brand new team. Now, and I it's a part of the story where I'm standing at this in front of this team and this particular team that I was asked to take over, they were all,
former military pilots, fighter pilots, they were all white men and their testosterone level was off the chain. So I'm standing there looking at this team thinking, right? And the team's looking at me like, where'd she come from? And so now all of a sudden we've got to make this whole thing work. None of us are like each other. And so I start the book that way because I did want to change, I want to instantly change the conversation. So here is a black woman leading an all white male team.
right, which is very different than most of the conversation that takes place in our, at least in our country, which is, you know, white men leading teams that are not like them. I really wanted to kind of throw, you know, put my vulnerability out there and say, hey, this is what my beginning of my career was leading people who weren't like me and how we had to make the adjustments with each other so we could get the job accomplished, which we did, which was fantastic. And so I want the conversation.

Stephanie
to be so much bigger because when you have a conversation about DEI, people can decide whether they're in or they're out, depending on who they are. Whereas my philosophy with ally leadership is if you're a leader, you don't have that jurisdiction to figure out whether you're in or out. This is the new form of leadership because the workplace has changed. And for all the reasons I talked about, the demographics, the generational changes, et cetera. And so every single leader
has to, if you want to remain relevant anyway, every single leader has to know how to lead people who are not like them. So that doesn't mean white people, white guys have to learn. It means all of us have to learn, right? Every single one of us have to know how to do this because as things are changing, the modern workforce, but as even leaders are changing, you know, we have to still be able to equip people who are not used to being in the leadership position.
Or maybe they find themselves in the situation I was, which is leading a team that looks nothing like you, thinks nothing like you, has no similarities as far as the background and upbringing is concerned. And so everybody's in this altogether. So I actually am challenging that it's not just a conversation about DEI because people have thoughts about DEI, whether good, or different. And so I just want everybody to know that if you're a leader,
I don't care what your thoughts are about DEI. If you're a leader, you are going to lead people who are not like you. And if you want to be a really good leader, one that people follow, one that people like, you know, knock down doors to figure out how they can work for you, because that changes your whole career. If you're one of those kind of leaders, then that changes everything. One, your brand is...
marketable, right? You have a global asset, which is your personal brand. People want you to come work at their company. People want you, you you start getting promotions because they want you to lead the team because you have a track record of being able to lead and create high performing teams. So there's a lot in it for the leader and or aspiring leader to want to know how to lead every single person. And that's what I truly believe is when you look at, you know, the 21st century, right? Every leader

Stephanie
Every leader is gonna have to learn how to lead all God's children, every race, every creed, every gender. That's it. If you can't do that, you will not be leading very long because companies will just leave you behind. You're no longer an asset. So my whole focus is to get leaders to realize this leadership stuff, yeah, it's a contact sport. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. But you have to make that decision if you wanna be a mediocre leader.
which there's a gazillion of them, I call them managers and bosses. Or if you really want to be a leader where you're just like, man, like people are knocking on your door, this is how you do it. And you have to know how to lead today's modern workforce.

Chris Lesner
So as you're looking for leaders to build into your team, to add to your team, to just help equip, what are you looking for in them? And then how do you help them develop?

Stephanie
Yeah, that's a great question. So for me, I'm always a big fan of knowing it, one, if you ever played on a sport, this is going to sound really crazy, but I really love bringing in leaders that have played college sports. And I noticed I didn't say high school sports or little league, right? Those are fun. Those are important. But I'm really focused on leaders who have played college sports. And the reason why is because one, they tend to know that it's about the team and they also know the team has to win.
And they're also usually really coachable, right? And so that's why, because when you play in high school, and no shame in high school, right? You're not gonna play in college if you haven't played in high school. But in high school, it's, you you're going to school anyway. In college, you've probably had to compete to get on the team. And now that you're on the college team, you know, maybe they're paying for some of your education. They're expecting you to take this like a job.
Right? It's now like a job for you. And so they're expecting you to perform and to help fill some seats and so on and so forth. And so the college coach tends to be a lot more direct.
than a high school coach. A high school coach may or may not be direct, because they're getting paid regardless, right? But a college sport, things change. And so I love college, people who've played college sports, I absolutely love that as a criteria. Now, it doesn't mean that you have to have that, but it just means that that's helpful for me, because I know that you mentally have things that I'm not going to be able to teach. You already have that attitude and still did you, because somebody else has taught it to you years down the line. That's the first thing. Second thing is,
I'm also looking for people who know how to communicate, the good and the bad, right? I'm not looking for someone who doesn't know how to address problems head on. You've heard me speak, you've heard me in a situation where I was coming in hot, right? I was very clear with, this is how you must lead, this is what it looks like. And so I always love people who are not afraid to shy away from the tough conversations.

Stephanie
That alone is a very interesting skill set and a lot of people don't have it. Most people really would prefer not to ruffle the feathers or want to avoid those kinds of conversations. But leadership is hard. And in leadership, you have to attack and tackle the tough stuff. And so I'm looking for people that have a history of being able to tackle the tough stuff. And what that means to me as well is one, they're not going to shy away from tough conversations.
I can teach them how to have tough conversations, but I need them at least to have an attitude that they're not gonna run away from tough conversations. And a lot of that you can trace back to people's work and their discipline and how they, you know, their work ethic. Another thing that I love is people who, you know, didn't necessarily have life handed to them.
I love people who worked on a farm, right? Like if they grew up on a farm, I'm like, almost you're hired because the cows need to be, you know, dealt with no matter what's going on. So I love that kind of hard work ethic that you're just like, no matter what, we got to get the job done. And so I can either grab that from how they were brought up, or I can grab that from if they played in sports, or I can grab that from if they, you know, were in the military, right? Where it's just like, you have to complete the mission.
I will also tell you that people in the military, prefer if they were in some type of special forces versus, you I was in the military for four years kind of thing, because special forces people know how to function best in chaos. They actually can, like, if you try to, I have, know a bunch of them, and if you try to give them like, here's what we're going to do, and it's a process and it's all well spelled out, they're like, they're almost bored, right? So, but the more chaotic or the more it's like, here's the challenge, I need you just to figure it out, they're like.
Steph, I'm in, right? So I love, there's a lot of different things that I look for as far as people coming on the team and to lead. And also I love people who have done sales, but they were 100 % commissioned. Love them the most, okay? Because if you can't, if it's all about you have a job and you don't eat that day unless you go sell something, changes your attitude. I love having people like that on the team because they figure out how to find.

Chris Lesner
Wow. When you think through your journey, just starting out on the ramp and then moving into sales, your first quota is $25 million. That's a big challenge. What are some challenges that you face that maybe haven't gone so well or that you wish would have gone differently?

Stephanie
Well, I'll tell you my first sales quota, the $25 million, that one started off really rocky. I didn't think I was going to make it. And it was six months later is when I figured out like, okay, this is how this whole thing works. So I'll give you that as an example. When they hired me and said, you know, I think you have the wrong, we have you in the wrong position. Let's put her in sales. 25 years old. I'd never sold a thing. They give me a quote of $25 million. Okay. So in the meantime, I have this boss and she's not the kind of leader we're talking about.
She wasn't all about developing me and making sure that I understood how this whole thing worked. That wasn't her. She was like, it's a $25 million quota. I don't care how you get there, get there. And if you can't get there, I'm just going to hire somebody else who can. That was my development. And on top of it, she was actually very mean. And so I will never forget the very first sales day, we supposed to go on sales calls together. Now, mind you, I came up through the airlines always having a uniform.
I worked in the ramp, I worked in customer service. And so the company always gave me a uniform. So she moves me into sales and decides, okay, we're gonna go visit your top accounts and I'm gonna take you out to introduce you to them. Great, well, I'd never had a suit before because I worked at the ramp, right? And so I get my little money together, I go to the store, I buy myself my first suit and I was really excited about it and I felt like I looked great. It was a pants suit, mind you, 40 years ago.
and I learned women don't wear pantsuits to go meet with their customers. I didn't know all that. I grew up a child of a soldier. So I get to the office and I got my beautiful pantsuit on and I'm feeling like a million bucks. And I'm so excited to spend time with her because, you know, she was a legend in our space and I was excited to, you know, go and meet my new accounts. She takes one look at me, Chris, looks me up and down and literally doesn't even say this to me, says it to the assistant, Jill cancel all our appointments. I can't take her looking like
and walks into her office and slams the door. Yeah, that's how it started for me. And so I go to Jill's desk. I have no idea what I've done wrong. I'm trying not to cry. Jill was a great ally leader, even though she wasn't the leader, but she really stepped up and she said, Stephanie, she said, ladies don't wear pantsuits when they go visit accounts. And so, and then she, you know, explained the whole thing to me. And so she asked, listen, learn, right? And then she took action.

Stephanie
And I remember just thinking, how would I know this? Like, how would I know that? You know what I mean? Now, had my boss, the one who wasn't that good, had she asked, listened, learned and taken action, she would have discovered that I grew up a military child. I was only around men. I saw uniforms all over the place. I was in a uniform all the time. I just didn't know. I didn't know the protocol, the professional etiquette.
So it only got worse from there. That was just my interaction with her. Now it come forward. I've got to produce $25 million. She's not helping me because she actually wants me to fail because she's thinking, why is she here? If I can get rid of her, I can get somebody else in that really knows how to do this whole thing. So what I had to do is I remember grabbing all the different sales trainings that I had ever gone through.
which was not that many, by the way. And so I remember just every night I would come home crying because she was really mean. She was trying to get me out. And so, but you know, I'm a child of a soldier, so I ain't moving so quickly, right? It's like, I'm gonna leave when I'm damn good and ready. And so I remember taking all the trainings, Chris, and kind of laying them out on my kitchen table, trying to figure out like, how does this thing called sales work?
Okay, so building trust and rapport, how does that work and how do I do it? And then once I do that, now I have the next step, which is now I can, you know, hear, ask them questions and understand what the problem is and then present them with a solution. And they may have some objections I have to handle and how do I close the deal? And so all of that, kind of laid out so that I could understand the process of sales and how I could get it. And then all of a sudden a light bulb went off. Now, mind you, this is like now month three, four, I'm not making my number.
She's like trying to get me out of there. It was like every day I'd go to work ready to just like, know what I mean? Then all of a sudden I started to do that. And I decided, I remember one day looking at myself in the mirror and I was just crying, snot bubbles, everything. It was horrible. And I remember looking at myself thinking, no more. You are not going to come home and be crying every single day. You're going to figure this out. And so I did. I figured it out in a way that made sense for me. Once it clicked, Chris, it clicked.

Stephanie
I went in and now I was like, I got a new attitude. Like, forget this lady, she not going to be hopeful anyway. And so at the end of the year, not only did I hit the goal, I was number one. And I never missed a quota after that. And now every, in every team I've ever led.
didn't miss a quota, didn't miss a quota because I had to learn through that hard, you know, school of hard knocks, right? How to lead a team, how to do it correctly, how to lead myself, how to understand the art of sales, et cetera. So though she meant it for bad, I'm actually really grateful that it happened the way that it did because that little movement for, you know, six months of misery.
actually formed the type of sales leader I would eventually become, which then got me promoted and made me be in a position where I could make history and got me to a level where I was an executive and an officer of a publicly held company. All that because of what she meant for bad actually turned out for my good because I was focused on working and getting it right and understanding it and not being distracted with the noise.

Chris Lesner
Wow, that's so cool to even understand that backstory because I think as listeners, we often hear, wow, you got the sales role and you got your first quota as $25 million and you hit it. And of course, now you're CEO of these things and leading these companies and leading these amazing teams, but it wasn't easy. And I think that's something so good for people to just take away. you've had that over and over and over. It wasn't easy, but that drive and the perseverance you had is just unbelievable.

Stephanie
Mm

Stephanie
No.

Stephanie
Yeah. And you know, that really makes who you are. And one of the things I would say for your listeners, and I'm really big on this, is it's so important to not be afraid of failure. Like I actually embrace failure. I don't want to have, you know, I want to fail all day, every day, you know, 10 days till Sunday. But it's like when I do fail and I still do fail, then I'm like, okay, what's the lesson I'm going to learn out of this? And then learn the lesson, kind of let it soak in, figure out where I missed it. And then move on.
Right? So don't be afraid of failure. Failure is really where most of your growth will happen. Nothing grows on top of the mountain. Everything grows in the valley with the rocks and the streams and, you know, where all the trials and tribulations are. So if I could if I could say one thing, honestly, don't be afraid of failure. The best thing that can happen to you is that you know how to embrace failure so that when you fail, you learn the lesson as quick as you can and then you move on. Like literally.
set it aside and move on. And that I will tell you, in my opinion, was a big part of my success is that I wasn't afraid of failure. And when I feel it, I grabbed the lesson as fast as I could. And then I literally shook it off and moved on to get to that next level and that next level. Because when you think of it, a lot of times when people think of failure, they are also hesitant to take that new position or go for that new promotion or whatever, because in the back of their head, they're thinking I'm going to fail. Well, I come from it from
you will fail, right? If you're a leader, you're gonna fail. If you're a parent, you're going to fail. If you're just here on earth, you're going to fail. So instead of running away from it, embracing it, and then realizing how do I use that failure, the lesson that I've learned for my good, so that it can propel me to that next place, right? Because you have a failure and then you have a comeback, and then you have a failure and then you have a comeback. And each step, you're growing and you're growing. And so I love...
I won't say I love failure. Let me check myself, right? But I do love the fact that I've learned how to fail forward for sure.

Chris Lesner
Okay, I one thing that I do with every guest I want to ask you 60 seconds worth of 10 questions and just say the first thing that comes to your mind there

Stephanie
Okay.
Alright, let's do it.

Chris Lesner
No right or wrong answer. Who's the first person you think of when I say servant leadership?

Stephanie
My dad, he was a master surgeon in the US Air Force.

Chris Lesner
fight.
Love it. Five words that most describe you.

Stephanie
Here lies a happy soul. Maybe that's four words.

Chris Lesner
Love it. Favorite author or book?

Stephanie
Stephanie Chai, no, I'm just kidding. Let's see, favorite author or book? Oh, you know what? My old mentor, her name was Judith Glazer and her book, which I highly recommend to offer all leaders is called Conversational Intelligence. And I speak a lot about conversational intelligence as well. So it's a great book for leaders.

Chris Lesner
Love it.

Chris Lesner
Favorite movie.

Stephanie
Remember the Titans with Denso Washington. Tai -Fu.

Chris Lesner
that one. Favorite food.
Favorite thing to do in your free time.

Stephanie
The spa. A massage specifically, a two hour Thai massage. That's my favorite thing to do.

Chris Lesner
Love it. Surprising fact about you.

Stephanie
Ooh, ooh, that's a good one. Surprising fact about, I don't have a college degree. Yeah, see, given everybody hope, I?

Chris Lesner
Wow, that's great.

Chris Lesner
Favorite place you've been.

Stephanie
love Kabul. That's like a quick vacation spot for me, so it's probably one of my favorites.

Chris Lesner
where somewhere you wanna go that you haven't been.

Stephanie
The Maldives or the Maldives, I'm not sure how say it, but yeah.

Chris Lesner
All right, best advice you've ever gotten.

Stephanie
Remember that every major decision that will be made about your career, you will not be in the room when it's being discussed. Yeah, yeah, yep.

Chris Lesner
Wow, that's so good. Well, Stephanie, thank you so much. I'm excited for our audience to listen to this. I'm so thankful for you and your wisdom. Thanks for being you and just sharing all of your wisdom with everyone now on the circuit too.

Stephanie
Thank you.

Stephanie
You're the best. Thank you for having me. This was so fun and I loved spending time with you again, Chris. I'll come back anytime. Best call of the day. All right. Thank you. Bye now.

Chris Lesner
We'll talk soon.